Okay, so I really love the title of your storybook (great play on SVU), however I think it’s a bit of a tease because I have certain expectations about what your storybook will be that are not confirmed. I expect to read a story about the murder, then a story about the elite squad solving the case with their special abilities, and then the court case that puts away the bad guy for good. The way you have your introduction done makes this storybook seem a lot different from Law and Order. I think there’s some awesome potential going the Law and Order route, but right now I think you’re straying into more of a Breakout Kings cold case desk work sort of feel and I don’t know about that. Don’t get me wrong, Breakout Kings would be another awesome route, but not this way. I mean, clearly it’s your storybook and you’ll do what you want, but I’m just trying to give you some options since you’re still pretty early in. If you play with the expectation of your storybook title, it could be so much fun! As for your actual storybook design, I think it works. It’s very simplistic and that works for something under the logo of Law and Order because it too is very simplistic and black and white.
Your story book title is what grabbed my attention because it is obviously connected to the TV show and I was interested in how you would tie this aspect in. I love the cover page image and quote you have created as well, goes along with the theme and pulls the reader into how you set up your story book before reading your introduction. I think you have set up a very creative framework for your stories! The inclusion of Indra and Hanuman working as a team is quite the combo. Since they are both able to shape shift I like how they are connected in this way and work for Rama, with their histories put behind them I can see how this could be a legitimate possibility! It will be interesting to find out what stories you choose to tell of each ‘agent’ that contribute to their talents of working in such a prestigious position. The image of Ayodhya is cool to include since this is where they serve on their team, I am interested in finding out what kind of images you include for the stories of their backgrounds! I think your story book is solid and I don’t have any critics that could potentially help you, because I think you have got it pretty much laid out in a great way so far!
“The Shape Shifters Unit” is a great, creative idea. I think that it will provide a lot of room for you to work while capturing something I found incredibly interesting in the book!! I was a HUGE fan of the Chronicles of Narnia when I was a child, so the idea of a talking animal was always fascinating to me. I think that’s why I appreciate it so much within the Indian Epics. I giggled to myself a little when I saw your first title – Agent Hanuman. I laughed because he’s one of my favorite characters, and I think that his character provides a great opportunity within your story. You also did a great job capturing the transformation of Hanuman into the “hero” he is today – the leader of the Shape Shifters Unit. I think that’s an important distinction to be made. I also really appreciate your setup of the case files. It really brings to light the kind of foundation and context that I believe you want your story to communicate. That, paired with the font and set up of your site really provides a criminal justice setting. I’m really looking forward to what you have to write about all of this! Great job.
Ha ha, I LOVE the little blurb on your cover page! It perfectly parodies the show - I totally heard that deep announcer voice, and the da-DA!! sound effect after it. This premise sounds really interesting, and your ability to playfully retell the stories in this setting already looks promising.
On your navigation panel, you might want to re-order so the coverpage is on top, then the intro, etc. I mean, that just makes more sense to me, but if you intentionally have it the other way, it's your party.
Your writing is very good. You explain your premise well, and it makes me want to read more. The text is a little small to me, though - hard to read on a computer screen. The characters you chose (and how you have a 'dark past' agent and an honored good-guy agent) are perfect!
Ooh, I love the little touch about how you did the image information ("retrieved from"). It's those tiny, clever touches that make a theme like this awesome!
I love, love, love how you do the first story! Well, I think the first part gets a bit long, and doesn't seem to be related to the law n order theme... but I love the "Case File" and how you characterize all the events as a police report. Very clever, and it fits so well! I guess I would like to see more elaboration on those action-y bits, and less backstory - don't take it out, just even em out a bit. I mean, that's just my opinion - overall though, I love it (did I say that yet?).
Bria, You had such a great idea for a Storybook! The "Shape Shifters" unit is such a good idea. This story was a lot different than what I expected because of your cover page. I like how you make your profile black. I think that part fit the theme very well. Your Introduction reminded me a lot of like an X-men type of thing. It was very creepy and creative. It made me excited to read the future stories you post about. Your first story is really cool. Hanuman is a really cool character so far in your story. A like how you made a case file at the end. That made your story very unique. Will there be a case file in every story? I am looking forward to reading about him in future stories and seeing how you add your own twist to the original versions we read. Keep up the good work! I will be reading your other stories in the future.
First of all, I love the concept. Law & Order is a great show. On your cover page, I love how you used the typewriter font; it fits well with the police/detective vibe. In your introduction, your tone reminds me very much of the opening monologue of the show, but you have changed it enough that it is now yours. The introduction looks a little cramped. Maybe consider adding an extra space between paragraphs. When you talk about Hanuman and say “follow the dharma,” that sounds a little weird. Look into whether it’s more proper to “the dharma” or just “dharma.” Also look into whether or not it’s supposed to be capitalized. I really like the caption on the picture you used. Unless the later story fully explains it, it would also be really helpful to understand why Indra’s reputation is off-putting. On Hanuman’s story, I like how you describe how he came to have powers. Maybe throw in something about how and when he was selected to be on this elite squad. I really like the case file at the end. At first, I thought it would be about a crime Hanuman committed, but I was very quickly corrected. Good job! I'm excited to read more!
Hi Bria! First off, I love Law and Order. Like I literally watch it everyday, so naturally I had to read your story. Your background looks good, it simple enough to not take away from the writing, so that's good. I love how you incorporated your story into the beginning monologue, that was very creative. The "shape Shifters' Unit is great! Your introduction looks good. However, I would consider re-spacing your paragraphs or making your words bigger. It is a little cramped and hard to read. Other than that, you used good detail in your intro, it was very fun to read! It had the same feel as the actual show. Your start to stray away a little from the Law and Order theme in your first story. Maybe try to incorporate more thematic points from the show so your readers (who watch the show) can relate. However, you did good giving information about Hanuman, I learned a lot about him in your page. it is obvious that your intent is to inform. I love the case file at the end! that's very creative! Good job! I can't wait to read more of your stories as the semester goes on!
Thank you for all your great comments on my blog, especially with my most recent storytelling! I'm very vain so compliments are lovely (lol jk). But thank you for saying you liked my story. I wasn't sure where I was going when I wrote it, I just knew that I needed Sita's story and I'm glad it turned out alright. Anyway, thank you!
I appreciate all of the positive feedback you've given me this semester, and coming from you, a very positive person, it means a lot to be encouraged on some of the prompts I felt less confident about,
Hello again Bria! I chose to return to your story to comment on this week as my ‘free choice’ because I was not lying when I said it interested me! I did not know what to expect on how you would set up our stories by reading your introduction last week and I am very impressed. I don’t think I have any constructive critiques of your first story, so I will mainly be commenting on what I really liked. I think that splitting up the stories focusing on different agents was a great idea, and I like how you are able to include basically two stories in one storybook page with the background on the agent first hand then followed by a description of a case he was involved in. Hanuman’s life history and where he obtained his abilities that make him a great asset to Rama’s team was very detailed and included all of the important aspects that would point him to be team leader as you assigned him to be. The case inclusion in the second half of the ‘file’ on Hanuman is so great because you managed to relate the battle against Ravana into an incident that modern times would file as a case and this includes all of the details that are in the battle and what we would call it in modern times such as ‘murder’ or ‘human trafficking:slavery’. There did not seem to be an authority such as law enforcement in the book to dictate what was considered a crime so I think it is really interesting. Great work and I am so pleased with how you have developed your storybook so far!
Home Page: O this is GREAT!!!!!!!!! Specifically how you transformed the introduction lines of Law and Order to introduce your story.
Introduction: O I love this too!! Such creative idea! Throughout Ramayana (and I’m sure Mahabharata as well) there are many accounts of shape shifting. I love that you took a common factor from different characters and are bring them together to fight crime for Rama and Sita. Your introduction was very grabbing. You did such a great job!!! Your comment on your picture was also creative and made me smile.
Agent Hanuman: The structure of your story is so creative, and I love it!! Specifically I like the “Case File” at the end of your story. The way you summarized Ravana’s crimes was so good, but I have a small question about the charge of “Conspiracy to Commit War Crimes against Ayodhya and its King and Queen.” I’m not quite sure what you mean by that one. Are you referring to Rama and Sita? If you are, I don’t think Rama was the king at that point. Also do you think that rape should be on there? Or is the statute of limitations exceeded? Or was he already punished for that crime by the curse put on him? This is just something to consider. The picture you provided was perfect for your story. You are doing such a great job with your story book. I truly enjoy reading everything you have written so far. Great Job!
Hi Bria! I chose to read your storybook for one of my extra credit comments this week! I really enjoy watching Law & Order, especially SVU, so I was drawn to your storybook by the title! I was immediately curious about how you would adapt your storybook to the show, and I was not disappointed! Your writing is so intense and easy to read, I love your writing style! I thought your introduction did a great job of drawing the reader in and introducing the agents! I was glad that you made Hanuman the team leader because he is definitely best fitted for the job! I thought your story about how he received his gifts that would help him as a part of the unit was a great idea! I really appreciated all of the detail that you included in your story as well. It made it easy to imagine how the story happened. I also really like how you were able to use the Law and Order writing format to present the case of Ravana with all of the crimes that he committed. I really like how you highlighted Hanuman's actions in helping solve the case! I had not thought about how important his shape-shifting was in achieving this. Anyway, I thought you did a wonderful job of adjusting the story to the Law & Order format, and I truly enjoyed your writing!
Hey, Bria! Wow- I am so impressed by your storybook. I absolutely loved your creativity in coming up with the topic and also by the way you set up the first part of the storybook with a brief story and then a “case file.” I really enjoyed reading along. Also, the pictures you included were nice. The website itself was well-designed because it was sleek, and black/white which seems very “secret service” like and reminds me a great deal of a special unit for criminal tracking. Hanuman was a great first choice to include in this storybook and I’m excited to see who else you choose. I can’t really think of anything for you to improve on but maybe, I would mention on the introduction who is the head of this unit- possibly the good gods? It’s definitely not necessary to include but would be neat. As for the picture on the introduction page, it’s really stunning and it made me chuckle that you wrote not only information under it but also threw in “its citizens leave their fates in the hands of the SSU.” That’s so great- I really like it. I can feel the drama build as I read the story and really like the feel. Great job!
Bria, I chose your storybook because the Law and Order caught me! I am from the Mythology class but I chose yours as an extra! Overall I love the scheme you chose for your storybook. It has a very Law and Order feel to it especially with the word image you chose to portray the title. I am so very interested in seeing how the Shape Shifters Unit comes into play. It reminds me of a special force unit, so it should be very exciting!
I have definitely wondered what it would be like to live as someone else! As my favorite animal! Your introduction does a wonderful job of pulling the audience into answering those questions and feeling excited about reading further. You even kept to the Law and Order feel throughout the entire explanation, giving titles such as Agent. I think it's an awesome idea at incorporating Indian Epics stories.
Your first story proved that this was a super creative way to tell Hanuman's story. He has such an exciting story. At first, I was stunned because of his attempt at grabbing the sun. The gift really allows us to think of him as an Agent now. These gifts are so vital to your story! I think the details of all of them help continue us to the path of SSU.
Overall fantastic read. I am glad I chose this storybook!
On first visiting your storybook page a noticed how well designed your page was. The color scheme perfectly fits with your law and order theme. Even the font seemed to match the theme, well done. Your brief introduction to the shape shifters unit was perfect, and sounded like something that would be on an actual episode of law and order. I thought your introduction did a great job of explaining what the shape shifters unit actually is. I love how you put the idea of karma into your introduction. What better way to gain better karma after living a questionable life than joining the SSU? I also like how Rama and Sita are King and Queen, and the SSU serves them.
I thought you did a great job with Agent Hanuman's personnel file. I like how you provided a background story of Hanuman going all the way back to the time he thought the sun was a mango. I also liked how you detail all the powers granted to Hanuman by the gods. These powers will surely make him a fearsome SSU agent. The crimes you listed Ravana committing were great, especially conspiracy to commit war crimes. This was a great start to your story book, keep up the good work!
Bria, I absolutely love your storybook! At first glance, it is really pleasing to the eyes and definitely draws my attention. The background being black makes the words stand out. I really like that you put a small explanation of your topic at the top of the cover page with the law and order logo. It seems that your story book is really relatable, and will be really fun to read, especially for those who have seen law and order before! Your first story is also really great. I, too, did my first story about Hanuman, so I think it is really cool that see that we have taken the same character, but have chosen different stories of him to portray his character. This just goes to show how unique all of our story books are and it really exemplifies everyones creative side. I also really like the format that you chose to write your stories in. I have never seen law and order before, but I am assuming they use some sort of format like that to show the characters? If so, I think it is awesome that you are using the same thing, but making it your own. Your writing is really great, and I didn't really see any grammatical errors. Keep up the good work! I can't wait to read more of you story book in the future!
I'm actually from the Mythology and Folklore class, so this is one of my first looks into the Indian Epics side. Although I don't know much about the background, I have to say I love the idea of incorporating these Indian Epics into a modern procedural crime drama like Law and Order.
The home page to your storybook is perfect for the theme you have chosen. These dark muted blues and greys you chose for the background are very fitting for a story that seems darker and grittier in that it involves crime and law enforcement. The font of the text also seems to fit into this theme; the straight, non stylized font seems like one that would be used in a government document.
Your introduction seems to do a great job of setting up the rest of the storybook. I like how you outlined the characters that will be involved in the stories throughout the storybook. The line "The stunning city of Ayodhya. Its citizens leave their fates in the hands of the SSU," does a great job of tying the story back into the Law and Order theme.
I love your idea for telling the story in the form of a case file! It separates the information, making it easy to read, while also creating a stylish and interesting format.
I love your theme that you selected for your storybook! I am a huge fan of Law and Order so this storybook caught my eye immediately and I had to read! I am from the Mythology and Folklore class so I thought it would be fun to read some stories from your class!
I think the cover page is looking great! I like how you have the Law and Order picture and how it is in the center of the page. It looks balanced and organized so there is no case of the eye of the reader being distracted. I think the colors are great and follow closely to the real show! Great job with the cover page!
I love how your introduction post is so descriptive and how it really explains exactly what these SSU agents do on a case-by-case basis! I think it is a really great idea to have them be able to change shape depending on what kind of case they are working. I also like that they are doing the work to help out after being a criminal him or herself.
In your story; Agent Hanuman, I like how you explained who he was before who he is today. I think it is important for the reader to be able to understand the character in order to be able to relate to them so this was a great idea!
Hey Bria, what a fun storybook concept you have going on! I loved the concept of Law and Order! I think that is awesome and unique. Firstly, I loved your cover page it has great color concept and the font also looks great. I like the picture you chose and the lighting makes it fun and interesting! I think your cover page is pretty solid. Secondly, your introduction is pretty descriptive and on point. I love the picture you chose for your introduction because it is simple and plain and that’s exactly what you are trying to explain in the introduction not giving out too many details. I like the concept and how you have everything figured out for your storybook. Lastly, I enjoyed reading your first story about Hanuman. I think he is a very important character and the fact that you chose to do a story over him is fantastic! I don't think he gets enough attention for his character in the epic and the way you highlighted his characters is awesome. I loved reading and learning new things about Hanuman. I love that picture you have on your page; it's one of those pictures I have not seen, which is great. I think you have all your ideas and concept figured out and well planned. Your storybook looks great so far!
Hi Bria! I love the concept that you chose for your storybook! This is my first time visiting your page, and I have to say that I am really impressed! I chose to read your storybook this week because Law and Order is one of the shows I watch occasionally as a guilty pleasure. It is so interesting seeing how the criminal is discovered and how they show the drama surrounding the entire episode. When I saw the title of your page, I knew that I had to read it for this week. First of all, I really like your opening cover page. It is funny how you adapt the introduction from the show to fit your stories, as well as fitting for the topic. I think it does a good job of opening up the storybook and giving the reader an idea of what is coming. In your introduction, the picture that you chose is stunning. I also really like the color scheme that you have for the storybook. It is a good contrast but still keeps the attention of the reader. You do a marvelous job of introducing the characters you will be talking about. I really like how you chose characters that are viewed as good, as well as characters with a less respectable reputation. It gives a good contrast to the stories, as well as shows how they struggle. I look forward to reading more! Keep up the good work!!
Hi again, Bria! I decided to revisit your storybook for one of my free choices this week! I really loved your first story, and just your whole style altogether, so I was excited to find that you had added your second story about Indra! First off, I love the image you chose for this story! It's so colorful! I was especially interested to see your perspective on indra because I kind of saw him as one of the bad guys. I really love the story you chose to tell, because I've always found it humorous that is how we was cursed! He definitely deserved it. Although I didn't think that Ahalya deserved what she got, I was not impressed by her in the slightest. I thought this story was perfect to tell because it showed his shape-shifting abilities and also showed how Indra became much more humbled! I think it's really cool that you brought a new perpetrator into the mix, not just Ravana! I also like how you made it more modern by using the case files. Instead of just killing, Indra first tried to arrest him, but then had to shoot him. Overall, I really enjoyed your second story and your storybook in general! Keep up the good work!
Hi Bria! I’ve already been to your storybook before, so I’ll just be commenting on “Agent Indra” today. I liked your storybook before and it’s great to continue reading it. These are some of the thoughts I had while reading it. Why is he the tech analyst? Did you just randomly assign the role to him or is there another reason? “Any woman he want” sounds like it should be “wanted,” especially since the first verb in the sentence is past tense. I can picture Indra creeping around their house, frustrated with envy. In the case file, what was Vritra trying to do? I don’t think you finished that thought. If you did, it’s not very clear. I like the picture you use. It’s great that the story you chose happened to explain his unusual appearance. This story flows well with the rest of your storybook. All of the different parts are great continuations of your work. I really enjoy your style of writing. One of the special things about your storybook is that you give two stories for each of your main characters: one that shows them in a positive light and one in a negative light. You did a great job with this!
Hello Bria! I am in the mythology class and I picked your storybook to read this week because you have a very intriguing title. Since I have watched Law and Order since I was a child, I was extremely excited to see what you had created, and I must say I was not disappointed. I am obsessed with the cover page for your story book. I honestly don't think you could have done it any better than it already is! As far as your introduction goes, that was very well written. As were your first two stories. On the first story though, my only complaint is that you have so many characters involved. Because each of these characters have hard names, it makes it extremely confusing. There was almost just too much going on. As far as your second story goes, it was also very well written. I think this story was my favorite one. There was so much action that it kept me on the edge of my seat. I also really liked the incident reports that you included at the end of each story. I thought that was a very creative touch. Overall, I really liked your storybook and I think you have done a great job thus far! Keep up the great work!
Wow, I absolutely love your storybook. I watch SVU all the time and you have done such a great job here. Your introduction is really great. I think you have done a great job of changing what they say in SVU and morphing it to be something we can apply here. The way you spent time explaining what they are capable of was really helpful. I think your reader who is not familiar with SVU will appreciate those extra touches. I got kind of lost while reading your paragraph in the first story about all that the different gods are capable of and why. I think it was just a heavy paragraph. I caught myself glazing over it and not really taking it in. You might work on those parts of your stories that might seem a little overwhelming with information. I liked how you kind of tied in a part of the story with their powers to help. I cannot wait to see how Hanuman helps save Sita and destroy the Rakshasas. I really liked the additional touch of listing the case file as if it were in a real police investigation. I think that the case file really sums up what you were trying to get across to your readers and it was very creative, so great job!
Hi Bria! I had read the beginning of your storybook before but I had never gotten to read any of your stories. So, I was sure to read them this week! As I mentioned in my last post to you, I love SVU. Love it. So I find your storybook to be really interesting. I really like your first two stories. You really did a good job portraying Hanuman and Indra and giving them fun personalities. You do a good job keeping your readers attention. I was interested to see how they ended. I would however be careful not to put too much heavy information in one paragraph. A lot of your paragraphs are long and I get a little lost. Maybe find a way to give the information in a simplified way. That way your reader doesn't just scan over in an effort to avoid reading long paragraphs. I still love the case file idea. That's my favorite part and it helps in summing up what you're trying to say. I'll definitely look to read more of your stories as the semester goes on! Great job!
Your theme was super creative! I loved the SVU feel the second I opened your StoryBook. The colors, the theme, the font, the diction, it all helped pull the SVU theme together. Good job! In both your stories, you did a great job bringing the characters to life. You introduced them well, developed them, and then gave us their endings as well. That was perfect! Your images were also really cool! A small little improvement, I think that the white text on the page can get a little hard to read sometimes. After a while of reading, it all starts to just swim together. Maybe space out your paragraphs a little bit more and then increase the size of your font? Besides that, I thought everything was great! I loved how you had Indra become modern and shoot and then arrest instead of just the typical being taken away or killed. I also liked how you truly transformed every single story into a modern case. Sometimes transforming stories based on a TV series is hard because there are so many different aspects you have to think about. I think you did an awesome job with it though!
Hey Bria! I haven’t had a chance to look at your storybook before now, but the title was enough to draw me in. What a creative topic! I love the idea of characters from the Ramayana using their abilities to help solve cases, and the image on your coverpage fits perfectly. The introduction was also great! You did a good job of introducing each of the characters and giving a little bit of information about how others view them and their role in the unit. One suggestion that I have is that you might consider moving the image further up in the story. It’s more of a matter of personal preference, but I like seeing the pictures as I read to kind of supplement the text. The picture itself is great, but I think that it might help establish the setting a little better if it didn’t conclude the introduction. The story about Hanuman was also excellent! I really enjoyed how you formatted the story. It kind of felt like I was looking at Hanuman’s profile in the SSU’s records. You provided so much information in the story, from his role in the unit to his background that we were introduced to in the Ramayana, but my favorite part was the case file. It really felt like I was reading an agent’s report on an incident in which he had to be involved.
Hello Bria. I finally made it to your page and I am glad I did. I love reading things that stand out and your story book is one of the more creative ones I have read so far. I love the title and the title page. Law and Order has always been one of my favorite shows and I think you have done a great job on your cover page of creating and opening to the one of the shows. I could almost hear the opening credit sounds. Your introduction set up your story book really good. It allowed the reader to suspend reality for a minute so that they could step into the shoes of the these characters. Hanuman is one of my favorite characters and I think most readers like this character most so it was a great way to start out the story book. You did a great job of telling his back story which most readers may or may not be familiar with but at any rate it was a creative way to introduce the character to readers. Creating a court doc that went over the arrest of Ravana and sentencing of the character also was a great way to tell the story of the results of the battle of Lanka.Overall I think you have found a creative way to bring these characters to new readers in an updated way that they can relate to. Great Job.
Hey Bria! That was a really great storybook. I really enjoyed the theme since I am a huge fan of Law and Order. You used this theme perfectly to create your own storybook. In this storybook, the introduction does a great job of starting off the storybook. It really captures the readers and makes sure they know what they are getting themselves into. It also does a great job to introduce the characters that we will be meeting on in the rest of the storybook. The characters you chose were also great because mostly everyone ha heard of them and love them and you also do a great job of re-introducing them for your brand new readers. The stories you chose to use in this storybook is also great because you used stories that weren’t really mentioned in the Ramayana that we have read so far and even if they were mentioned they did not go into detail like the ones you provided. All the details and the way of story telling used makes sure to keep the readers interested and makes sure they never get bored and want to quit reading. I really enjoyed reading this storybook and can’t wait to read the last story.
Hi! I just wanted to thank you for your comments about my storybook. I definitely appreciate your kind words and I'm so glad you have enjoyed reading the stories I've written!
First of all, I chose to read your storybook this week because you are on the ballot for best storybook overall. I can definitely see why you are in the top three because I think your idea of having Epics characters as Law and Order SSU characters is so creative. The story that I read from your storybook was “Agent Hanuman”. I chose this story because I think Hanuman is such a creative character and I personally used him in one of my storybooks as well. I really liked that you included the mango-sun story in your storybook! I think that it was awesome that you gave insight into the character’s background at the beginning of the story before you gave his affiliation with the perpetrator. I felt like I had knowledge about the character and why he is how he is. The idea of having a case file for your story was a very creative choice. I think your storybook was very easy to read and everything looked very neat. Since I’ve never visited your site before I had no idea what to expect. Your layout was very nice and I liked the white on black color scheme. Great job Bria!
Hey Bria, I just finished reading your storybook Law and Order: The Shape-Shifters Unit and I really like a lot of different aspects of this storybook. The site is very clean and easy to navigate. I feel like the colors you used fit really well with the theme you are going for. I also like the idea that you used a very popular show to put a twist on the epics. Using a popular show such as Law and Order really drew me in to reading this story and was a great way to modernize the story. I like each character that you used as agents for your Shape-Shifters Unit. Each character had its own personality and it didn't seem like i was reading about the same character in three different stories. Also it was really cool that you put the details of the story into a case details format. That was a really creative idea and adds another layer of authenticity to your theme. The way you have written all the stories is well done as well, the words you used created a great image in my head and I wasn't confused at all while reading your stories. Overall, good job!
Hi Bria! I just read your storybook project for the first time this semester which is really weird. I really enjoyed reading your stories and introduction too. I also liked how you built and set up your website. I thought it was very easily navigated and the colors were also easy on the eyes. I thought that the colors also fit in with your idea. Speaking of your idea for the storybook, I thought that it was a very creative idea and found it really cool that you made the heroes of the epics we read in to agents. The agent thing fit in with the storybook idea too. It was also a good idea to use the TV show law and order as a part of your idea too. I read your Hanuman story and I really enjoyed reading it. I thought it was a really smooth read. I also wrote a story over Hanuman about the mango and the sun as a storytelling blog, not a storybook project. I could not think of anything to make your storybook project any better, so overall you did a great job on your project and I hope to be reading more just for fun in the future!
Okay, so I really love the title of your storybook (great play on SVU), however I think it’s a bit of a tease because I have certain expectations about what your storybook will be that are not confirmed. I expect to read a story about the murder, then a story about the elite squad solving the case with their special abilities, and then the court case that puts away the bad guy for good. The way you have your introduction done makes this storybook seem a lot different from Law and Order. I think there’s some awesome potential going the Law and Order route, but right now I think you’re straying into more of a Breakout Kings cold case desk work sort of feel and I don’t know about that. Don’t get me wrong, Breakout Kings would be another awesome route, but not this way. I mean, clearly it’s your storybook and you’ll do what you want, but I’m just trying to give you some options since you’re still pretty early in. If you play with the expectation of your storybook title, it could be so much fun! As for your actual storybook design, I think it works. It’s very simplistic and that works for something under the logo of Law and Order because it too is very simplistic and black and white.
ReplyDeleteYour story book title is what grabbed my attention because it is obviously connected to the TV show and I was interested in how you would tie this aspect in. I love the cover page image and quote you have created as well, goes along with the theme and pulls the reader into how you set up your story book before reading your introduction. I think you have set up a very creative framework for your stories! The inclusion of Indra and Hanuman working as a team is quite the combo. Since they are both able to shape shift I like how they are connected in this way and work for Rama, with their histories put behind them I can see how this could be a legitimate possibility! It will be interesting to find out what stories you choose to tell of each ‘agent’ that contribute to their talents of working in such a prestigious position. The image of Ayodhya is cool to include since this is where they serve on their team, I am interested in finding out what kind of images you include for the stories of their backgrounds! I think your story book is solid and I don’t have any critics that could potentially help you, because I think you have got it pretty much laid out in a great way so far!
ReplyDelete“The Shape Shifters Unit” is a great, creative idea. I think that it will provide a lot of room for you to work while capturing something I found incredibly interesting in the book!! I was a HUGE fan of the Chronicles of Narnia when I was a child, so the idea of a talking animal was always fascinating to me. I think that’s why I appreciate it so much within the Indian Epics.
ReplyDeleteI giggled to myself a little when I saw your first title – Agent Hanuman. I laughed because he’s one of my favorite characters, and I think that his character provides a great opportunity within your story. You also did a great job capturing the transformation of Hanuman into the “hero” he is today – the leader of the Shape Shifters Unit. I think that’s an important distinction to be made. I also really appreciate your setup of the case files. It really brings to light the kind of foundation and context that I believe you want your story to communicate. That, paired with the font and set up of your site really provides a criminal justice setting. I’m really looking forward to what you have to write about all of this! Great job.
Ha ha, I LOVE the little blurb on your cover page! It perfectly parodies the show - I totally heard that deep announcer voice, and the da-DA!! sound effect after it. This premise sounds really interesting, and your ability to playfully retell the stories in this setting already looks promising.
ReplyDeleteOn your navigation panel, you might want to re-order so the coverpage is on top, then the intro, etc. I mean, that just makes more sense to me, but if you intentionally have it the other way, it's your party.
Your writing is very good. You explain your premise well, and it makes me want to read more. The text is a little small to me, though - hard to read on a computer screen. The characters you chose (and how you have a 'dark past' agent and an honored good-guy agent) are perfect!
Ooh, I love the little touch about how you did the image information ("retrieved from"). It's those tiny, clever touches that make a theme like this awesome!
I love, love, love how you do the first story! Well, I think the first part gets a bit long, and doesn't seem to be related to the law n order theme... but I love the "Case File" and how you characterize all the events as a police report. Very clever, and it fits so well! I guess I would like to see more elaboration on those action-y bits, and less backstory - don't take it out, just even em out a bit. I mean, that's just my opinion - overall though, I love it (did I say that yet?).
Bria, You had such a great idea for a Storybook! The "Shape Shifters" unit is such a good idea. This story was a lot different than what I expected because of your cover page. I like how you make your profile black. I think that part fit the theme very well. Your Introduction reminded me a lot of like an X-men type of thing. It was very creepy and creative. It made me excited to read the future stories you post about. Your first story is really cool. Hanuman is a really cool character so far in your story. A like how you made a case file at the end. That made your story very unique. Will there be a case file in every story? I am looking forward to reading about him in future stories and seeing how you add your own twist to the original versions we read. Keep up the good work! I will be reading your other stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the concept. Law & Order is a great show. On your cover page, I love how you used the typewriter font; it fits well with the police/detective vibe. In your introduction, your tone reminds me very much of the opening monologue of the show, but you have changed it enough that it is now yours. The introduction looks a little cramped. Maybe consider adding an extra space between paragraphs. When you talk about Hanuman and say “follow the dharma,” that sounds a little weird. Look into whether it’s more proper to “the dharma” or just “dharma.” Also look into whether or not it’s supposed to be capitalized. I really like the caption on the picture you used. Unless the later story fully explains it, it would also be really helpful to understand why Indra’s reputation is off-putting. On Hanuman’s story, I like how you describe how he came to have powers. Maybe throw in something about how and when he was selected to be on this elite squad. I really like the case file at the end. At first, I thought it would be about a crime Hanuman committed, but I was very quickly corrected. Good job! I'm excited to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Bria!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love Law and Order. Like I literally watch it everyday, so naturally I had to read your story. Your background looks good, it simple enough to not take away from the writing, so that's good. I love how you incorporated your story into the beginning monologue, that was very creative. The "shape Shifters' Unit is great!
Your introduction looks good. However, I would consider re-spacing your paragraphs or making your words bigger. It is a little cramped and hard to read.
Other than that, you used good detail in your intro, it was very fun to read! It had the same feel as the actual show.
Your start to stray away a little from the Law and Order theme in your first story. Maybe try to incorporate more thematic points from the show so your readers (who watch the show) can relate. However, you did good giving information about Hanuman, I learned a lot about him in your page. it is obvious that your intent is to inform.
I love the case file at the end! that's very creative!
Good job!
I can't wait to read more of your stories as the semester goes on!
Thank you for all your great comments on my blog, especially with my most recent storytelling! I'm very vain so compliments are lovely (lol jk). But thank you for saying you liked my story. I wasn't sure where I was going when I wrote it, I just knew that I needed Sita's story and I'm glad it turned out alright. Anyway, thank you!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate all of the positive feedback you've given me this semester, and coming from you, a very positive person, it means a lot to be encouraged on some of the prompts I felt less confident about,
ReplyDeleteHello again Bria! I chose to return to your story to comment on this week as my ‘free choice’ because I was not lying when I said it interested me! I did not know what to expect on how you would set up our stories by reading your introduction last week and I am very impressed. I don’t think I have any constructive critiques of your first story, so I will mainly be commenting on what I really liked. I think that splitting up the stories focusing on different agents was a great idea, and I like how you are able to include basically two stories in one storybook page with the background on the agent first hand then followed by a description of a case he was involved in. Hanuman’s life history and where he obtained his abilities that make him a great asset to Rama’s team was very detailed and included all of the important aspects that would point him to be team leader as you assigned him to be. The case inclusion in the second half of the ‘file’ on Hanuman is so great because you managed to relate the battle against Ravana into an incident that modern times would file as a case and this includes all of the details that are in the battle and what we would call it in modern times such as ‘murder’ or ‘human trafficking:slavery’. There did not seem to be an authority such as law enforcement in the book to dictate what was considered a crime so I think it is really interesting. Great work and I am so pleased with how you have developed your storybook so far!
ReplyDeleteHome Page: O this is GREAT!!!!!!!!! Specifically how you transformed the introduction lines of Law and Order to introduce your story.
ReplyDeleteIntroduction: O I love this too!! Such creative idea! Throughout Ramayana (and I’m sure Mahabharata as well) there are many accounts of shape shifting. I love that you took a common factor from different characters and are bring them together to fight crime for Rama and Sita. Your introduction was very grabbing. You did such a great job!!! Your comment on your picture was also creative and made me smile.
Agent Hanuman: The structure of your story is so creative, and I love it!! Specifically I like the “Case File” at the end of your story. The way you summarized Ravana’s crimes was so good, but I have a small question about the charge of “Conspiracy to Commit War Crimes against Ayodhya and its King and Queen.” I’m not quite sure what you mean by that one. Are you referring to Rama and Sita? If you are, I don’t think Rama was the king at that point. Also do you think that rape should be on there? Or is the statute of limitations exceeded? Or was he already punished for that crime by the curse put on him? This is just something to consider. The picture you provided was perfect for your story. You are doing such a great job with your story book. I truly enjoy reading everything you have written so far. Great Job!
Hi Bria! I chose to read your storybook for one of my extra credit comments this week! I really enjoy watching Law & Order, especially SVU, so I was drawn to your storybook by the title! I was immediately curious about how you would adapt your storybook to the show, and I was not disappointed! Your writing is so intense and easy to read, I love your writing style! I thought your introduction did a great job of drawing the reader in and introducing the agents! I was glad that you made Hanuman the team leader because he is definitely best fitted for the job! I thought your story about how he received his gifts that would help him as a part of the unit was a great idea! I really appreciated all of the detail that you included in your story as well. It made it easy to imagine how the story happened. I also really like how you were able to use the Law and Order writing format to present the case of Ravana with all of the crimes that he committed. I really like how you highlighted Hanuman's actions in helping solve the case! I had not thought about how important his shape-shifting was in achieving this. Anyway, I thought you did a wonderful job of adjusting the story to the Law & Order format, and I truly enjoyed your writing!
ReplyDeleteHey, Bria! Wow- I am so impressed by your storybook. I absolutely loved your creativity in coming up with the topic and also by the way you set up the first part of the storybook with a brief story and then a “case file.” I really enjoyed reading along. Also, the pictures you included were nice. The website itself was well-designed because it was sleek, and black/white which seems very “secret service” like and reminds me a great deal of a special unit for criminal tracking. Hanuman was a great first choice to include in this storybook and I’m excited to see who else you choose. I can’t really think of anything for you to improve on but maybe, I would mention on the introduction who is the head of this unit- possibly the good gods? It’s definitely not necessary to include but would be neat. As for the picture on the introduction page, it’s really stunning and it made me chuckle that you wrote not only information under it but also threw in “its citizens leave their fates in the hands of the SSU.” That’s so great- I really like it. I can feel the drama build as I read the story and really like the feel. Great job!
ReplyDeleteBria, I chose your storybook because the Law and Order caught me! I am from the Mythology class but I chose yours as an extra! Overall I love the scheme you chose for your storybook. It has a very Law and Order feel to it especially with the word image you chose to portray the title. I am so very interested in seeing how the Shape Shifters Unit comes into play. It reminds me of a special force unit, so it should be very exciting!
ReplyDeleteI have definitely wondered what it would be like to live as someone else! As my favorite animal! Your introduction does a wonderful job of pulling the audience into answering those questions and feeling excited about reading further. You even kept to the Law and Order feel throughout the entire explanation, giving titles such as Agent. I think it's an awesome idea at incorporating Indian Epics stories.
Your first story proved that this was a super creative way to tell Hanuman's story. He has such an exciting story. At first, I was stunned because of his attempt at grabbing the sun. The gift really allows us to think of him as an Agent now. These gifts are so vital to your story! I think the details of all of them help continue us to the path of SSU.
Overall fantastic read. I am glad I chose this storybook!
On first visiting your storybook page a noticed how well designed your page was. The color scheme perfectly fits with your law and order theme. Even the font seemed to match the theme, well done. Your brief introduction to the shape shifters unit was perfect, and sounded like something that would be on an actual episode of law and order. I thought your introduction did a great job of explaining what the shape shifters unit actually is. I love how you put the idea of karma into your introduction. What better way to gain better karma after living a questionable life than joining the SSU? I also like how Rama and Sita are King and Queen, and the SSU serves them.
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a great job with Agent Hanuman's personnel file. I like how you provided a background story of Hanuman going all the way back to the time he thought the sun was a mango. I also liked how you detail all the powers granted to Hanuman by the gods. These powers will surely make him a fearsome SSU agent. The crimes you listed Ravana committing were great, especially conspiracy to commit war crimes. This was a great start to your story book, keep up the good work!
Bria, I absolutely love your storybook! At first glance, it is really pleasing to the eyes and definitely draws my attention. The background being black makes the words stand out. I really like that you put a small explanation of your topic at the top of the cover page with the law and order logo. It seems that your story book is really relatable, and will be really fun to read, especially for those who have seen law and order before! Your first story is also really great. I, too, did my first story about Hanuman, so I think it is really cool that see that we have taken the same character, but have chosen different stories of him to portray his character. This just goes to show how unique all of our story books are and it really exemplifies everyones creative side. I also really like the format that you chose to write your stories in. I have never seen law and order before, but I am assuming they use some sort of format like that to show the characters? If so, I think it is awesome that you are using the same thing, but making it your own. Your writing is really great, and I didn't really see any grammatical errors. Keep up the good work! I can't wait to read more of you story book in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Bria!
ReplyDeleteI'm actually from the Mythology and Folklore class, so this is one of my first looks into the Indian Epics side. Although I don't know much about the background, I have to say I love the idea of incorporating these Indian Epics into a modern procedural crime drama like Law and Order.
The home page to your storybook is perfect for the theme you have chosen. These dark muted blues and greys you chose for the background are very fitting for a story that seems darker and grittier in that it involves crime and law enforcement. The font of the text also seems to fit into this theme; the straight, non stylized font seems like one that would be used in a government document.
Your introduction seems to do a great job of setting up the rest of the storybook. I like how you outlined the characters that will be involved in the stories throughout the storybook. The line "The stunning city of Ayodhya. Its citizens leave their fates in the hands of the SSU," does a great job of tying the story back into the Law and Order theme.
I love your idea for telling the story in the form of a case file! It separates the information, making it easy to read, while also creating a stylish and interesting format.
I love your theme that you selected for your storybook! I am a huge fan of Law and Order so this storybook caught my eye immediately and I had to read! I am from the Mythology and Folklore class so I thought it would be fun to read some stories from your class!
ReplyDeleteI think the cover page is looking great! I like how you have the Law and Order picture and how it is in the center of the page. It looks balanced and organized so there is no case of the eye of the reader being distracted. I think the colors are great and follow closely to the real show! Great job with the cover page!
I love how your introduction post is so descriptive and how it really explains exactly what these SSU agents do on a case-by-case basis! I think it is a really great idea to have them be able to change shape depending on what kind of case they are working. I also like that they are doing the work to help out after being a criminal him or herself.
In your story; Agent Hanuman, I like how you explained who he was before who he is today. I think it is important for the reader to be able to understand the character in order to be able to relate to them so this was a great idea!
Hey Bria, what a fun storybook concept you have going on! I loved the concept of Law and Order! I think that is awesome and unique. Firstly, I loved your cover page it has great color concept and the font also looks great. I like the picture you chose and the lighting makes it fun and interesting! I think your cover page is pretty solid. Secondly, your introduction is pretty descriptive and on point. I love the picture you chose for your introduction because it is simple and plain and that’s exactly what you are trying to explain in the introduction not giving out too many details. I like the concept and how you have everything figured out for your storybook. Lastly, I enjoyed reading your first story about Hanuman. I think he is a very important character and the fact that you chose to do a story over him is fantastic! I don't think he gets enough attention for his character in the epic and the way you highlighted his characters is awesome. I loved reading and learning new things about Hanuman. I love that picture you have on your page; it's one of those pictures I have not seen, which is great. I think you have all your ideas and concept figured out and well planned. Your storybook looks great so far!
ReplyDeleteHi Bria! I love the concept that you chose for your storybook! This is my first time visiting your page, and I have to say that I am really impressed! I chose to read your storybook this week because Law and Order is one of the shows I watch occasionally as a guilty pleasure. It is so interesting seeing how the criminal is discovered and how they show the drama surrounding the entire episode. When I saw the title of your page, I knew that I had to read it for this week. First of all, I really like your opening cover page. It is funny how you adapt the introduction from the show to fit your stories, as well as fitting for the topic. I think it does a good job of opening up the storybook and giving the reader an idea of what is coming. In your introduction, the picture that you chose is stunning. I also really like the color scheme that you have for the storybook. It is a good contrast but still keeps the attention of the reader. You do a marvelous job of introducing the characters you will be talking about. I really like how you chose characters that are viewed as good, as well as characters with a less respectable reputation. It gives a good contrast to the stories, as well as shows how they struggle. I look forward to reading more! Keep up the good work!!
ReplyDeleteHi again, Bria! I decided to revisit your storybook for one of my free choices this week! I really loved your first story, and just your whole style altogether, so I was excited to find that you had added your second story about Indra! First off, I love the image you chose for this story! It's so colorful! I was especially interested to see your perspective on indra because I kind of saw him as one of the bad guys. I really love the story you chose to tell, because I've always found it humorous that is how we was cursed! He definitely deserved it. Although I didn't think that Ahalya deserved what she got, I was not impressed by her in the slightest. I thought this story was perfect to tell because it showed his shape-shifting abilities and also showed how Indra became much more humbled! I think it's really cool that you brought a new perpetrator into the mix, not just Ravana! I also like how you made it more modern by using the case files. Instead of just killing, Indra first tried to arrest him, but then had to shoot him.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I really enjoyed your second story and your storybook in general! Keep up the good work!
Hi Bria! I’ve already been to your storybook before, so I’ll just be commenting on “Agent Indra” today. I liked your storybook before and it’s great to continue reading it. These are some of the thoughts I had while reading it. Why is he the tech analyst? Did you just randomly assign the role to him or is there another reason? “Any woman he want” sounds like it should be “wanted,” especially since the first verb in the sentence is past tense. I can picture Indra creeping around their house, frustrated with envy. In the case file, what was Vritra trying to do? I don’t think you finished that thought. If you did, it’s not very clear. I like the picture you use. It’s great that the story you chose happened to explain his unusual appearance. This story flows well with the rest of your storybook. All of the different parts are great continuations of your work. I really enjoy your style of writing. One of the special things about your storybook is that you give two stories for each of your main characters: one that shows them in a positive light and one in a negative light. You did a great job with this!
ReplyDeleteHello Bria!
ReplyDeleteI am in the mythology class and I picked your storybook to read this week because you have a very intriguing title. Since I have watched Law and Order since I was a child, I was extremely excited to see what you had created, and I must say I was not disappointed. I am obsessed with the cover page for your story book. I honestly don't think you could have done it any better than it already is!
As far as your introduction goes, that was very well written. As were your first two stories. On the first story though, my only complaint is that you have so many characters involved. Because each of these characters have hard names, it makes it extremely confusing. There was almost just too much going on. As far as your second story goes, it was also very well written. I think this story was my favorite one. There was so much action that it kept me on the edge of my seat. I also really liked the incident reports that you included at the end of each story. I thought that was a very creative touch. Overall, I really liked your storybook and I think you have done a great job thus far! Keep up the great work!
Wow, I absolutely love your storybook. I watch SVU all the time and you have done such a great job here. Your introduction is really great. I think you have done a great job of changing what they say in SVU and morphing it to be something we can apply here. The way you spent time explaining what they are capable of was really helpful. I think your reader who is not familiar with SVU will appreciate those extra touches. I got kind of lost while reading your paragraph in the first story about all that the different gods are capable of and why. I think it was just a heavy paragraph. I caught myself glazing over it and not really taking it in. You might work on those parts of your stories that might seem a little overwhelming with information. I liked how you kind of tied in a part of the story with their powers to help. I cannot wait to see how Hanuman helps save Sita and destroy the Rakshasas. I really liked the additional touch of listing the case file as if it were in a real police investigation. I think that the case file really sums up what you were trying to get across to your readers and it was very creative, so great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Bria!
ReplyDeleteI had read the beginning of your storybook before but I had never gotten to read any of your stories. So, I was sure to read them this week! As I mentioned in my last post to you, I love SVU. Love it. So I find your storybook to be really interesting.
I really like your first two stories. You really did a good job portraying Hanuman and Indra and giving them fun personalities. You do a good job keeping your readers attention. I was interested to see how they ended.
I would however be careful not to put too much heavy information in one paragraph. A lot of your paragraphs are long and I get a little lost. Maybe find a way to give the information in a simplified way. That way your reader doesn't just scan over in an effort to avoid reading long paragraphs.
I still love the case file idea. That's my favorite part and it helps in summing up what you're trying to say.
I'll definitely look to read more of your stories as the semester goes on!
Great job!
Bria,
ReplyDeleteYour theme was super creative! I loved the SVU feel the second I opened your StoryBook. The colors, the theme, the font, the diction, it all helped pull the SVU theme together. Good job! In both your stories, you did a great job bringing the characters to life. You introduced them well, developed them, and then gave us their endings as well. That was perfect! Your images were also really cool!
A small little improvement, I think that the white text on the page can get a little hard to read sometimes. After a while of reading, it all starts to just swim together. Maybe space out your paragraphs a little bit more and then increase the size of your font?
Besides that, I thought everything was great! I loved how you had Indra become modern and shoot and then arrest instead of just the typical being taken away or killed. I also liked how you truly transformed every single story into a modern case. Sometimes transforming stories based on a TV series is hard because there are so many different aspects you have to think about. I think you did an awesome job with it though!
Hey Bria! I haven’t had a chance to look at your storybook before now, but the title was enough to draw me in. What a creative topic! I love the idea of characters from the Ramayana using their abilities to help solve cases, and the image on your coverpage fits perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction was also great! You did a good job of introducing each of the characters and giving a little bit of information about how others view them and their role in the unit. One suggestion that I have is that you might consider moving the image further up in the story. It’s more of a matter of personal preference, but I like seeing the pictures as I read to kind of supplement the text. The picture itself is great, but I think that it might help establish the setting a little better if it didn’t conclude the introduction.
The story about Hanuman was also excellent! I really enjoyed how you formatted the story. It kind of felt like I was looking at Hanuman’s profile in the SSU’s records. You provided so much information in the story, from his role in the unit to his background that we were introduced to in the Ramayana, but my favorite part was the case file. It really felt like I was reading an agent’s report on an incident in which he had to be involved.
Hello Bria. I finally made it to your page and I am glad I did. I love reading things that stand out and your story book is one of the more creative ones I have read so far. I love the title and the title page. Law and Order has always been one of my favorite shows and I think you have done a great job on your cover page of creating and opening to the one of the shows. I could almost hear the opening credit sounds. Your introduction set up your story book really good. It allowed the reader to suspend reality for a minute so that they could step into the shoes of the these characters. Hanuman is one of my favorite characters and I think most readers like this character most so it was a great way to start out the story book. You did a great job of telling his back story which most readers may or may not be familiar with but at any rate it was a creative way to introduce the character to readers. Creating a court doc that went over the arrest of Ravana and sentencing of the character also was a great way to tell the story of the results of the battle of Lanka.Overall I think you have found a creative way to bring these characters to new readers in an updated way that they can relate to. Great Job.
ReplyDeleteHey Bria! That was a really great storybook. I really enjoyed the theme since I am a huge fan of Law and Order. You used this theme perfectly to create your own storybook. In this storybook, the introduction does a great job of starting off the storybook. It really captures the readers and makes sure they know what they are getting themselves into. It also does a great job to introduce the characters that we will be meeting on in the rest of the storybook. The characters you chose were also great because mostly everyone ha heard of them and love them and you also do a great job of re-introducing them for your brand new readers. The stories you chose to use in this storybook is also great because you used stories that weren’t really mentioned in the Ramayana that we have read so far and even if they were mentioned they did not go into detail like the ones you provided. All the details and the way of story telling used makes sure to keep the readers interested and makes sure they never get bored and want to quit reading. I really enjoyed reading this storybook and can’t wait to read the last story.
ReplyDeleteHi! I just wanted to thank you for your comments about my storybook. I definitely appreciate your kind words and I'm so glad you have enjoyed reading the stories I've written!
ReplyDeleteHi, me again. (:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I chose to read your storybook this week because you are on the ballot for best storybook overall. I can definitely see why you are in the top three because I think your idea of having Epics characters as Law and Order SSU characters is so creative. The story that I read from your storybook was “Agent Hanuman”. I chose this story because I think Hanuman is such a creative character and I personally used him in one of my storybooks as well.
I really liked that you included the mango-sun story in your storybook! I think that it was awesome that you gave insight into the character’s background at the beginning of the story before you gave his affiliation with the perpetrator. I felt like I had knowledge about the character and why he is how he is.
The idea of having a case file for your story was a very creative choice. I think your storybook was very easy to read and everything looked very neat. Since I’ve never visited your site before I had no idea what to expect. Your layout was very nice and I liked the white on black color scheme. Great job Bria!
Hey Bria, I just finished reading your storybook Law and Order: The Shape-Shifters Unit and I really like a lot of different aspects of this storybook. The site is very clean and easy to navigate. I feel like the colors you used fit really well with the theme you are going for. I also like the idea that you used a very popular show to put a twist on the epics. Using a popular show such as Law and Order really drew me in to reading this story and was a great way to modernize the story. I like each character that you used as agents for your Shape-Shifters Unit. Each character had its own personality and it didn't seem like i was reading about the same character in three different stories. Also it was really cool that you put the details of the story into a case details format. That was a really creative idea and adds another layer of authenticity to your theme. The way you have written all the stories is well done as well, the words you used created a great image in my head and I wasn't confused at all while reading your stories. Overall, good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Bria, I really appreciate all the comments you've left on my posts. Hope your semester ends well.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHi Bria! I just read your storybook project for the first time this semester which is really weird. I really enjoyed reading your stories and introduction too. I also liked how you built and set up your website. I thought it was very easily navigated and the colors were also easy on the eyes. I thought that the colors also fit in with your idea. Speaking of your idea for the storybook, I thought that it was a very creative idea and found it really cool that you made the heroes of the epics we read in to agents. The agent thing fit in with the storybook idea too. It was also a good idea to use the TV show law and order as a part of your idea too. I read your Hanuman story and I really enjoyed reading it. I thought it was a really smooth read. I also wrote a story over Hanuman about the mango and the sun as a storytelling blog, not a storybook project. I could not think of anything to make your storybook project any better, so overall you did a great job on your project and I hope to be reading more just for fun in the future!